Why ‘I Don’t Know’ Is Never the End of the Conversation

We’ve all been there. A question pops into our mind. Sometimes sharp, other time unsettling and at times seems to be full of possibilities.

What do I really want? What am I avoiding by staying busy? Why does this keep bothering me? What am I hoping will happen without me taking action?

And before we know it, we’ve quietly told ourselves, I don’t know. Then, just as quickly, we’ve let it slip away.

Not because it didn’t matter. But because it takes effort to sit with a question long enough to hear its answer.

Why We Let Questions Go

Life has a way of crowding out reflection. Emails ping. Family needs us. Deadlines press in. And without meaning to, we get used to moving on without being answerable to ourselves.

But here’s the truth: Those unanswered questions don’t disappear. They wait. They resurface in moments of frustration, restlessness, or quiet longing. They remind us something important still wants our attention.

As a coach, I see this often. Whether I’m working with leaders navigating big decisions, professionals stuck in quiet burnout, or undergraduates facing an unclear future. Yet, when we slow down, clear the mental clutter, and focus on one question at a time, something shifts.

We see differently. And often, what we see changes how we feel.

A Gentle Entry Point: Emotion-Focused Coping

Psychologists call one form of positive coping emotion-focused coping. This includes strategies that help us process our feelings, especially when situations can’t be changed immediately.

Journaling is one of the more accessible forms of this. It doesn’t require perfect words. It doesn’t need hours of your time. It simply invites you to pause, notice, and give shape to what’s inside your head and heart.

You can start anywhere:

• The first thought you had this morning.

• A sentence that begins, “What I wish I could say (to xxx) is…”

• A description of the knot in your stomach (or heart or head) before a big conversation.
  

Over time, these small acts of noticing do something powerful: they help you take control of how you want to feel, rather than being controlled by your reactions to external triggers or old, unhelpful patterns.

From Processing to Possibility

Journaling is not the whole journey but it can be the doorway. When we begin to process our emotions on paper, we often start to spot patterns: recurring frustrations, unspoken hopes, choices we’ve been avoiding.This is where coaching comes in. Coaching builds on the clarity that journaling uncovers, guiding you toward other forms of positive coping:

• Solution-focused coping — finding practical steps you can take right now.

• Proactive coping — preparing for challenges before they arise.

• Meaning-centred coping — drawing on your values and life goals to sustain meaning in difficult times.
  

The bridge between these strategies is self-awareness. And cultivating that starts with giving your thoughts and feelings the space to be heard without judgment, without rushing.

Colours of Life

A Different Kind of Workshop 🖌️🔖☕

On Sunday, 24 August, I’ll be guiding a small-group Journaling Workshop (limited to 12 participants), designed to help you pause, listen, and meet yourself on the page.

It’s not about “learning to write.” It’s about creating room to hear what you’ve been carrying, and to start answering the questions you’ve quietly put aside.

Your workshop experience includes:

• Guided prompts & reflective exercises in an intimate group

• 14 days of integration support via a private WhatsApp group

• An optional 1:1 follow-up session with me (of my partner) to deepen what you’ve started
  

As part of Singapore’s 60th National Day celebrations, the ticket is S$108 (usual S$128) for a limited time. I’d love to welcome you into this small, intentional group. If you’ve been feeling the nudge to find clarity, this might be the moment to step in.

🗓️. Sunday, 24 August | 🕰️ 10am to 12 noon | 📍 Chapters Co. (35 Kreta Ayer Road) ®️ Register here

Sometimes the first step to changing your life is not an enormous leap. It’s a pen, a page, and the courage to ask yourself again:

“What do I really want?”